Growing up, there is so much hype about how your first time should be. You're told to either wait until marriage or to wait until it's with someone you love .However, that's not always the case, and whether you like it or not, losing your virginity is a memory that will stay with you forever. For most of us, this does not include rose petals, candles, or smooth music. To get the real deal, I have decided to tell you about My first time .
I was 12 when I first had sex...Actually when I first saw a penis besides my little brothers'.Sex was always a taboo topic among my peers. It was uncomfortable to talk about since Christian African parents like mine preach it as though it is a dirty thing;I knew little about sex except from watching pornography and abstinence.I still did it anyway not because I was forced to but because I was curious and wanted to. I wasn't ready but I got lost in the moment. It was unexpected so there was no condom. Luckily, there were no horrible repercussions . I had not even seen my first period yet.
I had sex with my COUSIN! Yes... I mean it .He was not even good looking at that time ,neither did I have a crush on him ,he was just a regular 16 year old who took advantage of my curiosity.During my numerous visits to his house we watched porn together; after I turned 11 I had this insatiable urge to watch porn every time I was alone.Even though I frequently watched porn ,I had never masturbated not even caressed my breast.It was during one of these visits that he f**ked me.
On one Monday evening my aunt decided to go to church leaving my cousin and I alone at home .Usually it was during this time we watched porn together. He came to my room right after his mum had left.There I was in my denim short and spaghetti top feeling my self as he complimented how hot I looked .Well ,at that time I was a bit plump for my age so I had a fair size in breast and butt,even with that, I had never been complimented about my looks and for the first time, I felt so sexy .
He climbed on my bed and asked,"Are u ready for today's session?". I nodded eagerly.I was excited He logged into his account on xvideos and we started to watch .He started moving closer and closer...till his body touched mine. We browsed through a couple of videos .I begun to sweat profusely .
Before I realized he was kissing me so deeply.That was my first kiss but I took over like a pro. Next thing , his lips on my nipples ;he sucked and licked my lemons like a dog who just found a bone.He bit my nipples and at that
moment I snapped back into reality."WTF do you think you are doing"I screamed as though I had rehearsed how to react when I get carried away.He put his hand on my lips.."shh relax,don't act like you were not enjoying it".As a matter of fact I was .He opened up my button and pulled down my shorts.I took care of his.I was disappointed by the size of his erected penis; more or less like my middle finger ;small and skimpy ...After watching porn on many occasions I knew this wasn't the ideal size. He held me tightly on my hand and begun to rub his penis on my vagina. then slowly he penetrated.It hurt at the first instance and for about a couple of seconds.thrust thrust thrust.He moved faster and faster till he had cum .
In a matter of minutes he begun to slow his tempo.He was so tired .Beads of sweat trickling down his cheeks .I was glad that he was finally done .It lasted for aprox.6 minutes and with the fore play a total of 18-20 minutes .I will be a liar if I say I did not enjoy it .I did (at least that's what I thought at that time).I was ashamed, for I realized he bore the title as my cousin.
Now he begun to dress up quickly.He looked satisfied. Just like every stupid boy ,he just left me lying there.I dressed up but contrary to popular beliefs, there was no blood .I was scared ...I begun to worry that I wasn't normal.I was so disappointed that I let myself go just like that,It was just a cesspool of mixed emotions {pain, fulfillment, joy and many others.} After, I researched about sex and I found a lot of information out there that I wish I knew before I begun to indulge in sex
.jpg)
I haven't seen or heard from my cousin since 2005 .
- I wish I waited till I was at least 18(ready to do it)
- I wish I did it with some one I loved not my cousin
- It wasn't life-changing and it didn't make me any "less" than my other friends
- I knew sex wasn't a scary thing unlike what my mum told me
- Girls aren't sluts for doing it and boys aren't losers for not.
- Sex wasn't a big deal
- Once you have sex for the first time, it’s not going to be obvious to anyone around you. You’re not going to walk differently for days after. You may be hurting a little bit, but that shouldn't affect the way you’re walking .
- Its not mandatory that you bleed ;you may or may not
- I frankly din't feel a difference between my pre-sex and post-sex vagina. Up until I met my current boyfriend
- Everyone’s hymen is different. Many peoples’ hymens naturally have less tissue, or are already stretched out of the way from other things(tampons)
- Having sex with your cousin is not incest.
- You must use birth control to avoid pregnancy and A your partner must use a condom to prevent both pregnancy and STD'S
- Sex must be safe and consensual between two sober participants
